Stanly County News & Views

Geezer Joins KKK

Kounty Korn Kounters induct new member

The local county fraternal society taps a city slicker for its newest member. "I guess I didn't fully understand the charter of the organization I was joining," mused the new member. "I have heard of hazing, but this just wasn't the corn I thought I would be counting."

Seen in the background is the "honey pot cover" that is a required digging and lifting ritual for all new members.

Soon all toilets were flushing OK again.

Big Barbecue follows KKK Induction

Here Geezer is seen preparing a huge fire to grill one of the Stanly County favorites, Goodyears. To the right of Geezer one can see the bumper crop of Goodyears, gutted, cleaned and ready for grilling.

"I've been places where road kill was considered a delicacy, but I have never seen anything like this! I'm told by the locals that after two or three twelve packs, they're 'right tasty!'" quipped the chef.

A hearty time was had by all, until the beer ran out. The ensuing riot and fights was finally quelled by the sheriff's department. "We let them sleep it off in jail, and send them home as soon as someone with a drivers license is sober enough to drive," stated the local law enforcement spokesperson.

The day after

We see Geezer cleaning up the debris from the Great Stanly County BBQ. The sale of beer cans netted $347.44 which was used to offset the costs of replacing the underpinning destroyed in the "cement eating contest" which was held just after the eighth beer run from Mt. Pleasant.

"These people are good folks but beer seems to change them," remarked a neighbor.